"Real Life Is Coming For Us"

Hello Internet,

"Real life is coming for us." - Jonathan Tropper, This Is Where I Leave You (an amazing book I've been reading)

I'm soaking wet.

I'm cold and wet and tired and sitting in a Barns & Noble (shameless name drop) half way between home and my mom's house but most of all: this has not been my day.

Actually this hasn't been my week.

Let's start with the fact that my mom is back in the hospital for double feature kidney failures this week and the season finally is her adrenal glad doesn't work right. Basically, whenever she gets stressed, it's supposed to secret an anti-stess-thing-that-makes-everything-still-work (yes, that's the medical terminology) but it doesn't which results in hallucinations and organ failure. This is, naturally, on top of her three back surgeries for her ruptured discs. Mom's having a rough month. She lost her job, is broke, can't get disability or unemployment because smart nurses with college degrees apparently are over qualified for these things and now the IRS has let her know her taxes were done incorrectly and she owes them money. Medical bills, car payments, taxes, and a 21 year old are a little to much for her fiscally so it's hard for her not to be stressed.

So the way I see it, I have two options: stay at mom's house or move to Chattanooga like I've been planning for two years. If I stay I will miss my only chance to leave the small town and make something out of myself but I can be there for my mom and watch her. The only thing is a 21 year old with no college degree can't make enough money to support himself and his mother; especially when the mom has been living of an RN salary. So I gave her all the money I saved for moving and left. I've moved to Chattanooga, broke, and with a terrible job cleaning stuff at Jimmy Johns but now I've eliminated myself as a financial burden to her and am on my own. Now she just has to take care of herself and not the both of us. Sure, everyone thinks I'm being selfish, and the rest of my family hates me for leaving, but she understands and that's what counts, "you have to live your life too after all."

While Empty Nest Syndrome has been rough on her I think it was the best move for all of us. I think things will get better once I have some money and she gets everything sorted out with her finances. Today, I think, will be the last hard day for a while. I came home to see her in the hospital and to get my car fixed (Joseph backed into it) and that was nice. I'm not complaining, really, because this is real life and I know I'll come out the other end a better man.

Now as far as today goes: dead battery, lost keys, 100 degree weather, no money, no food, card declined, card lost, massive storm...The Fates have it out for me, clearly. So I'll relax here until things die down.
/rant